Meditation is the green leafy vegetable of magickal practice. It's good for you. It makes you more centered, more aware, more able to harness energy. Jesus and the Essenes used it. Obviously, Siddartha used it. Crowley made such a big deal out of it that acccording to him, if you didn't do it, you weren't really doing magick. You even really want to do it (just like eating green leafy vegetables). But it can be the damn hardest thing in the world to talk yourself into doing.
And here's the rub:
You have to keep doing it.
Like, you can't just plop down, get lost in the candle flame or the rhythm of your breath for a second or two, and then go about your day. The point is to keep doing it. And then, you have to do it again tomorrow, and hopefully do it a bit longer. And then all the rest of the week. And then the next week. And then forever.
Like forever forever. The really long one that runs until the end of time. From right now on out.
Well, only if you ever want it to work. Whatever that means.
At least that's what I'm learning as I try to re-integrate meditation into my regular practice. Yesterday was so frustrating that I couldn't even write about it after I finished the practice. A dog was barking crazily across the street. As though the dog had gone insane, and was almost screaming right at me- or so it seemed at the time. Today it was the phone. Any distraction is amplified about a million times. One of the funniest parts of it was the feeling that swept over me after the phone rang the second time- the only thing that I can compare it to is road rage. Such a malevolent anger, so filled with all sorts of ugly nasties, and in such an odd setting. Strangely, the incongruity of sitting in meditation with so much anger in my heart shocked me enough to jolt me back into watching my breath. I finshed my ten minutes (fifteen due to interruption) of eating my leafy green vegetables.
Tomorrow, I'll try to eat for a minute or so longer.
- The above image was borrowed from The 8th Side
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